Category Archives: Poems

New Skin, New Skin

New skin, new skin
I pledge allegiance to my new skin, new skin
I wanna feel the wind in my hair again
Never feel what it’s like to be scared again

Smallpox on my bed again
Throwing out the sheets and my old friends
Old sores, run the bath again
You can barely feel where the new skin begins

I wanna live in a tailing pond
Soak it in ’till my bones rot off
Shave my nose and bleed out the heritage
Bathe in the sludge of plastic needle sedative

Inject the drug, blue eyes burn through
I’ve got tumors in my veins, allergic to the used

Breathe in the carbon, eat hydrothermal vents
Five-eyed fish, Fukushima accidents

I wanna live in a tailing pond
Soak in the heat ’till old skin boils off
Test the model, see if silicon floats
Blink the lenses of my brand-new eye note

Originality, they’ll never let you in
Pledge Allegiance to the new skin, new skin.

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Dear You

Are you ready for how I thought I loved you?
How I placed your face and my face in my dreams,
But they never came true.

Enchanted by the day I met you.
It was so warm that my cold self,
Drifted toward you.
How time slowed down,
When you were around,
And you never knew.

Could you feel my long, sweaty palms
just trying to hold you?

I was shy, you were bold.
I never felt so old.
Than the times I stared,
At your ruby red hair,
Like a fire in my brain;
I’ve never felt the same,
I never could cling to.

Dear You.

Remember that time you handed me the letter you wrote?
I joked and I hoped,
Saying, “Is that for me?”
Well my heart broke just a little bit that day.
I gave to my friend, he read.
Did she say anything about me?

I just went home and,
I cried my fucking eyes out.
Then you moved away.

Oh how could I stray?
But it wasn’t the same.

When you left you gave me that old picture.
Because I’d glad you’d gone,
You could be the girl who’d run,
And I’d be the hero of my own story.

But time passed and anger fades,
So I tore up your picture.
Now here I am, it’s 2 am,
Just trying to forget you.
I want to forget you.

I was shy, you were bold.
I’ve never been so old.
I want to open my heart again.
I want to open my heart again,
Let somebody else in.

Writing my poems again,
Writing my poems again.

America, 2001

Prologue: This was inspired by Neutral Milk Hotel’s “Holland, 1945”, so a) please nobody sue me & b) maybe give that a listen to understand the rhyme scheme and tempo I was going for?

The only man I’ve ever loved
Died with mortar shells in chest
Not to say I’m not impressed
By folded flags and formal dress
These shots just ring and pierce my ears
Left me alone with all my fears
You can’t replace, you can’t repairs
The chopped up pieces of my heart
The world just breaks and falls apart
The world just breaks and falls apart

I had a girl, when I was young
Lost her legs, 2001
To see her dance in Summer sun
The way she smiles through blood-stained teeth
Coughs up pain or pain relief
Left me alone with all my grief
You can’t replace, you can’t receive
The chopped up pieces of my heart
The world just breaks and falls apart
The world just breaks and falls apart

Oceans

I was lounging around a couple days ago when the first stanza popped into my head and I was kind of mulling over the rhyme scheme. I wrote the rest pretty quickly, as you may tell, with a half jumbled kind-of rhyme in my head but wrote it down not rhyming. So I decided to post both versions as I like the rhyming, but I also like the disorganized feel that the original invokes. …Enjoy? (Sorry if you can’t read my writing)

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OCEANS

I stood inside the mirror
Tracing lines that were my faults
When I saw her staring lovingly
At all the scars that I had wrought

And I swear she heard me whispering
That I loved her more than words
Because she pursed her lips and
Turned her hips and I knew that I had falled

So I went to grab her arms and look into her eyes
Where she looks that look she looks at me
And I know just what she means

But I didn’t, so she didn’t, and
I’m watching and I’m waiting and
Now I’m staring back at me
To gaze inside that mirror
And see the same thing that she sees.

Like two ships that pass,
Like hips to grab,
Like boats on stormy seas,
Like waves of undulating ocean water
Passing over me.

Sons of Succubus

On the long-lost stones
of Cumae, lay Uranus broken, dead.
Where the scourging witch Mohini,
twiddles with needle and thread.
Exiled himself, the wandering hero,
he met a woman in white.
Her suckling babe, a ball of clay,
eyes enchanting to fornicate.
For many years, a thousand now,
he fell to her fictitious grace.
And the energies of him, a boundless god,
rejuvenates her aging face.
The children born, monsters of time,
A golem, a hydra, a snake.
Yet a boiling rage into the hero’s soul,
a volcanic eruption of hate.
Disrupts the ether, disrupts time itself,
disrupts the waters of hope.
And the mighty Typhoeus awakes
from under Mount Etna, majestic slope.
Valorous charge, Zeus and Titans,
together on a mighty quest.
Mohini watches and slips away,
leaving with Uranus-like zest.
The mountains collide, the pulling tide,
a clash never forgotten.
And as Typhon falls, a single tear
from Uranus face, he leaves lovelorn. Heartbroken.

Nevermore

Faint echoes of nails
on a rusted door
I bet that they don’t
Know me anymore
And when they see my face
They’ll know me nevermore

Scratches on my cheek
When she tried to stop me
The guttural sounds she made
Will forever haunt me
My name is Nevermore
And I hope they find me

I took my hunting knife
And I carved her out a new face
The old didn’t suit her
Such a fucking disgrace
My name is Nevermore
I bet you think me a nutcase

I am the son of God
This much is true
I’m also the son of Lucifer
My soul split in two
My name is Nevermore
Who are you?

Galactic

Stars are immortal
Just like my heart
The beatings come in wavelengths
I never knew to start

My soul is encaptured
Eyes are burning coals
My rotting corpse, my bloating husk
I waited for your call

I heard the ring, the echoes sting
You failed to break my heart
I split in two, then I called you
I tried to stop the tears

I called your phone, you were not home
The cops said, “Flow your tears.”

I ran away, came back today
Still burning like a star

But stars implode, two hands did hold
It’s either him or me

I saw your eyes, at least I tried
This fucked up Galaxy.

Redemption Song

The hands that hold the world
They are breaking
And no-one can see the progress
We are making
Towards a final Renaissance
There’s no mistaking
And the silence that will fall
Brings forth shaking
And all the possession that were ours
For the taking
Inside Messiah’s heart
There is aching

For the world that we planted
It was shattered
As we bought and climbed a
Corporate ladder
Do we even feel regret
Doesn’t matter
Redemption bells won’t ring
Clang or clatter
Are we so small in the universe
We’re only batter
A simple mix of cells and jell
Our world’s in tatters

And if I knew the answer now
I’d be elated
Bought and sold and bought
My soul is fated
To a righteous flame of hell
Masticated
By a simple demon god
Emancipated

For the hand that held the world
They were breaking
And no-one saw the progress
We were making

Leviathan

I dreamt of him again
The one who took my soul
I know it’s not real
But reassurance is nice to know

He clunks in his cogs
And he steams with his wheels
He’s a leviathan man
His words scrape at my ears

A harbinger of dreams
That sour and rot
I hope he’s not real
I hope that I’m wrong

I saw him today
In reflections and fields
The leviathan man
Whose words scrape at my ears

Because if it’s true
If he’s bone and he’s flesh
Then he’s my undoing
He’ll bring my death

I saw him again
He’s in my eyes now
His hands hold the sword
My faith is my shield

Star Burns

Where are the stars?

Where did they go?

Were they taken away?

Or did they all just go home?

 

What happened to warmth,

Nature and Growth?

Did Sol just burn out,

Because he isn’t there now.

 

Lights of the night,

Alien ships.

Gone in a sequence of

Buzzes and blips.

 

Left us for dead.

Well they just disappeared.

Shortness of breath.

From the smoke and the gears.

 

The darkness just spread.

It just wouldn’t stop.

It blackened the sky.

Then it started to clot.

 

Where are the stars?

Where did they go?

Did they just go home?

Or were they taken away?